The Beauty of Wandering
We Are Not OK - Part 5
“Not all those who wander are lost”
J.R.R. Tolkien
When I move to a new town, one of the first things I love to do is try to get lost. I generally spend a couple of days driving a few hours in every direction, learning how roads connect, circling back on myself, recognizing familiar landmarks, and enjoying the landscape. In 2006, shortly after moving to Wilmore, KY for seminary, I took off on one of these exploratory drives. I set out south toward Harrodsburg, across the Kentucky River and through the beautiful Palisades and then turned off on a few back roads. Unlike other places I had lived, I found that Kentucky roads do not always follow compass directions. You may start heading south and end up going Northeast on the same road without realizing it. A few hours later I found myself in the familiar town of Nicholasville, less than 15 minutes from home. When I arrived I told my wife I found a new route to Wal-mart that takes about 2 hours and crosses the Kentucky River 5 times. Needless to say, the next time we went to Wal-mart, she drove.
In a world so driven by productivity and getting directly from one place to another or one thing to another, the joy of wandering is lost. The old roadside attractions are dying off because there is simply so little time to stop off and enjoy them. That’s the point. Life is always about the destination. We often fail to recognize that people don’t always have the same destination in mind. Even when we are 100% certain where we want to go, we are not always certain how to get there. GPS may be great for navigating the main roads, but in the winding terrain of our minds and souls, we tend to lose our satellite signal.
So what does all of this nostalgia about slowing down to wander and explore have to do with this idea we have been talking about that we are not OK? I’m glad you asked.
If we are ever going to move beyond this state of not being OK, the first thing to acknowledge is that we don’t really know where we’re going. We all want to get to some destination that is better than the way things are, but we can’t agree on what that destination is. For some it is simply a return to past glory days when life felt simpler. For others, it is about scrapping the past altogether and starting over. Still others muddle their way through, trying to bring what is familiar into a new and ever changing reality.
Once we accept that none of us really knows where we are going, it’s time to embrace our uncertainty and learn to work together on the journey. In all of our wars, language is our primary and most deadly weapon, but language is also the primary tool we have to sort this mess we have created. Unfortunately, our language is not nearly as clear and absolute as we like to think. Every word we say or write can be interpreted in many different ways depending on the perspective and experiences of those to whom we are speaking. I can’t count the number of sermons I have preached when someone comes out saying, “I really like what you said about …” Whatever it is they think I meant often turns out to be the exact opposite of what I said. For example, messages about being bold in our faith get twisted into rallying cries to shout down our political enemies. That’s not at all what I mean by being bold about our faith, but people tend to hear what they want to hear based on their own personal agendas. I have often used 2 Timothy 4:3 to make this very point.
“For the time is coming when people will not put up with sound doctrine, but having itching ears, they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own desires, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander away to myths.”
2 Timothy 4:3
Inevitably, every time I mention this text someone will use it to defend how their position is “right” and everyone else, including me, is refusing to listen to sound doctrine. Life is filled with “Adventures in Missing the Point.” (from the book title by Brian McLaren & Tony Campolo). Maybe, just maybe, we are the ones who will only hear what we want to hear.
One of the most wonderful things early on even before my wife and I started dating was the way we could just ramble through our random thoughts with one another in long conversations. We literally walked and talked for 15 hours straight one evening all the way through the next afternoon. We were not preparing for a long-term relationship. We did not know where we were going, nor did it matter. What mattered was that in the moment, we could talk to each other about anything and everything even if we didn’t have it all sorted out yet for ourselves. As we wandered through the streets of DeLand, FL, so we allowed our words and thoughts to wander freely as well. Our natural ability to communicate and ramble through difficult issues with one another built a strong foundation for our marriage.
A few weeks ago, my D.Min cohort coined a new phrase which I think describes the nature of those early conversations. We were “fumbling with love.” In other words, we acknowledge that we do not always mean what we say or say what we mean and we extend grace to one another as we try to figure this thing out together. That, I believe is the first step to moving beyond this state of “not-Okay-ness”. We must recognize that we are all fumbling through this life, trying to make sense and meaning out of anything we can and in many cases, just trying to get through the day. Even terrorists have hopes and dreams and joys for their children which are no less virtuous and valuable than our own. If you think that’s overstating my case, I encourage you to read the interviews with some major terrorist leaders found in “Tea with Hezbollah.” In this book, Ted Dekker and Carl Medearis sit down with those we consider our worst enemies and have real conversations about what it means to be human; what makes them laugh, what makes them cry, what do they dream for their children and what do they think the importance of loving their neighbor. We may have extreme disagreements on the right or wrong methods to attain certain goals and even on what those goals should be, but at our core, we are all fumbling through life looking for those things which Jesus already promised… hope, love, peace and joy.
Once we recognize that we are all fumbling just as badly as the next person, perhaps we can begin to learn to set aside our hatred for and our fear of one another and start “fumbling together with love.” Rather than fencing off our own tribal territories, let us learn to wander freely together, and perhaps in our wandering, we may discover that we have already been found.
“The winding path to peace is always a worthy one, regardless of how many turns it takes.”
Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Season 1, Episode 11
Reflections:
Do you like to wander? Why or why not?
Do you focus more on the journey or the destination? In what ways is your destination shaped by the journey itself?
What do you think about the idea of “fumbling with love” and allowing ourselves to extend grace to one another when we get it wrong? Seek out someone this week with whom you have a disagreement and give it a try.